Introduction

Friends;how many of us have them? I’m talking bout friends; ones we can depend on. Friends is a word we use everyday. Most of the time, we use it in the wrong way. Now you can look the word up again and again but the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends…

As many of you may have guessed from that shameless rip off of Whodini, today on Shonen Smackdown we’ll be discussing the hero’s support group; his group of friends. To use a Japanese loan word like good little weaboo in training that I am, I’ll refer to the hero’s extended support group as his nakama.

Basically, you have your friends, you have your good friends, you have your best friends and then you have your nakama. Friends will bail you out of jail, good friends will bail you out and pick you up, best friends will be sitting in jail with you saying “That was SO AWESOME”. But nakama will break you out of jail, kill the guards, burn the jail to the ground, dance on its ashes and declare war on the legal body that arrested you. Nakama is hardcore friendship done in over the top shonen fashion

The average shonen nakama has the hero, the team mom who keeps everybody from killing each other, the smart guy, the big guy, the kid sibling of somebody and the guy who’s totally not your friend he just keeps showing up and saving you at the right time and comes to all your parties but he’s just there for the cake, really. I direct you the DigiDestined from Digimon as UR Example.

They say you can’t qualify or quantify friendship…but take that as a challenge!  I put friendship to the test and smackdown the hero’s closest friends and how the author handles their friendships, romantic relationships and general interactions. THIS…is Shonen Smackdown: The Side Characters.

WARNING: LONG POST IS LONG!

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                                                   The Konoha 11

Manga: Naruto
Role: Classmates and Comrades of the Main Cast
Pros: Fleshed out and intriguing
Cons: Unevenly developed
Coolest Member: Shikamaru Nara (Middle)

Be honest; would you want to go to war with the kids you went to school with? If you’re anything like me who to school with the largest collection of vapid flakes, spazes and stoners west of the Sierra Nevadas, you wouldn’t trust your ex classmates to pick up your dry cleaning let alone have your back in a superpowered kung-fu fight.

Fortunately for the titular character from Naruto, his classmates are not total zotes, dweebs or lameos. They are motherfucking ninjas, fully equipped with quirky, over-specialized powers and eager to aid our spiky haired hero in his one man war against the Akatsuki. The Rookie Nine plus two, an entire class of Ninja managed to advance through the ranks to be entrusted among the elder ninja as protectors of their village and hunters of dangerous criminals.

                                                       The Group

“Hey guys, Keanu Reeves wants to play Spike in the Cowboy Bebop Movie!”

A manipulator of shadows with an IQ over 200. A civilian without the ability to manipulate magical chakra beating enemies to a pulp with straight martial arts. A human hive of insects. A master of beasts. A mind controlling social manipulator. A medic with a megaton punch. Two pressure point fighters capable of paralyzing with a touch of a finger. A wrestler with the ability to enlarge himself to staggering sizes. A weapon master who summons thousands of blades.

I will give Kishimoto props for making Naruto’s circle of friends instantly likable and memorable. Each character is evocative with a distinct personality that makes them pop out from the other mostly colorless ninjas that people the Hidden Leaf Village.

Quick, what are their names?! Anyone? Okay how about just one of them…anything?

Of course, when you have such identifiable character concepts, it becomes shoe-chewingly frustrating when they’re not used to their potential. Granted, Naruto and Sakura are the main protagonists but Kishimoto is not above focusing on side characters for extended periods of time (coughSasukecough). This is especially egregious once Shippuden happens since we ping-pong back and forth between Naruto’s team and Sasuke’s team. True, Shikamaru’s team gets their own arc but it still feels like the characterization is unevenly spread.

For example, there is a side-arc where Team 10 (Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji) avenges their sensei like the good little ninja stereotypes they are. We focus on Shikamaru as he grapples with his fears of failure and inadequacy in the wake of his mentor’s death but we’re never given insight into Chouji or Ino’s reaction. As far as we know, they were all cried out by the funeral and we didn’t get a good look at how they emotionally developed. As a result, Shikamaru came out of the arc more developed than his teammates. I know it’s hard for the author to give everyone their time to shine but if you’re going to pick and choose characters to characterize, be consistent. Otherwise, we end up with a few well defined characters in a field of cardboard cutouts.

If you really want to get smash plastered drunk, pop in a DVD of Naruto and take a shot anytime anyone mentions “bonds” or “comrades.” People under 150lbs will die of alcohol poisoning before the ending credits and the rest will experience hallucinations of blond ninjas asking them to believe in “it”.

The little squads of ninja serve as mini-families for characters who by and large have crappy home lives.I again direct you to Team Ten who remain close even after they get moved around to other units once they graduate. Naruto’s love friendship with Sasuke drives him throughout the story, creating a goal that remains consistent as antagonists come and go and driving home Kishimoto’s favorite Aesop of redemption. Naruto is determined to save Sasuke almost as much as he is determined to become Hokage.

Friendship plays a large and fairly well handled role in binding the story together. Romance on the other hand…is a complete fucking disaster…

A…COMPLETE…FUCKING…DISASTER!

Seriously. Romance in Naruto is a hot, slimy mess of unrequited love dodecahedrons that never get resolved. Hinata loves Naruto loves Sasuke Sakura loves Sasuke…or does she love Naruto? And every time we approach completion, Kishimoto backs off or derails the plot or never mentions it again. Seriously, Hinata’s confession and near sacrifice for Naruto went nowhere and while her admiration for Naruto is a central point in her character development, it’s all a sorry tease if nothing happens once its revealed. Imagine if Darth Vader revealed that he was Luke’s father and no one ever talked about it again. Romance serves as cheap, flash in the pan drama to intensify a particular scene. But once that scene is done, there’s never any concern with what comes after. Naruto didn’t even send Hinata so much as a get well card before he bungled off to play with giant animals on the back of a turtle…

No, I am not kidding. Yes, That is Spiny Norman in the front. God yes, I hate Shippuden.

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                                                       The Ryoka

Manga: Bleach
Role: Rescue Squad
Pros: Devoted group of friends
Cons: Little Relationship Development
Favorite Member: Chad

Ichigo may be the grumpiest of the three shonen protagonists but not without reason. If chunks of semi-Japanese mythology kept beating me up and kidnapping my friends, I’d be pretty irritated too. By that point, I would also probably think about investing in some friends who could protect themselves from any wannabe kidnappers so I wouldn’t have to rescue their asses every other week.Though by now I have a theory that his mother’s death instilled in Ichigo the compulsive need to protect everyone  around him to avoid suffering the same trauma again.

Still, once Ichigo rescued himself some friends they proved to be just the sort of rag-tag team that is the bane of all shonen villains and for lack of a better term, I dub Ichigo’s group The Ryoka (Intruders) because they’re always intruding on something or other, breaking up evil organizations or just smashing through walls and interrupting evil luncheons.

PICTURED: Ichigo ruining another one of Aizen’s tea parties

                                                         The Group

Ichigo and friends are often found sleeping in circles in the local parks and are mistaken for extremely pretty hobos.

Substitute Shinigami with Hollow powers. Ranked Kido master with the power of a Vice-Captain. Last of a race of mystical archers with a passion for fashion.Half-Mexican Hollow powered strongman. Kooky reality warper with magic hairpins.

And Renji…sometimes.

As far as quirky Shonen groups go, this one is by far the most normal. When compared to freakshows like Naruto and One Piece, Ichigo and Co. are downright regular. This meshes well with the urban fantasy vibe in that the characters are the most human. Even Shinigami like Rukia are far more down to Earth than some of her superiors, even compared to Renji.

Each character really feels like their own person without being wacky for the sake of being wacky. Take Chad for example; he’s an actual pacifist unlike your standard anime “pacifist” that is only peaceful until negotiations break down. Chad refuses to fight back to the point that Ichigo has to bail him out when the first meet. He later makes peace with the fact that some fights can’t be avoided but It was nice to see a character stick to their guns and actually follow through on their own personal moral codes.

Overall, The Ryoka are a pretty dedicated group of friends who will drop everything to help one of their own out…

I just don’t know why…

Here’s a question I have for you guys; why is Ichigo friends with Uryuu? If they weren’t sticking together for mutual security against Hollows, would they hang out?

This is the main problem I have with the relationships in Bleach; they’re few and far between. Ichigo has friends certainly but I can’t really see why he has so many. If I had to whittle it down, I’d say Ichigo’s only real friends are Chad, Tatsuki and Rukia. Orihime hangs out with them but I get the feeling that they’re only friends through Tatsuki. Keigo and Mizuro are only there for comic relief, Uryuu only helps them out because it makes Hollow hunting easier and Renji…Renji’s just kinda there. Part of this problem is that there’s never anytime to cool down between rescue arcs and really flesh out the characters and their relationships. As a result, Ichigo establishes his only real friendships in the arc leading up to Soul Society.

As far as romance goes, it’s better than Naruto but that’s not saying a whole hell of a lot. People ask why I ship IchiRuki like a spastic fourteen year old girl and honestly, it’s because their relationship is the best developed on both sides. Kubo has gone on the record saying their relationship isn’t quite romantic but it certainly has the best foundation. I don’t dislike IchiHime and there are times where I can really get behind it. But this is the same problem I had with Avatar: The Last Airbender. We get a whole lot of development on one half of the relationship and absolutely none on the other side. I have to see that both people involved are interested in the other before I start liking the relationship. Otherwise, it just seems half-assed.

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                                          The Straw-Hat Pirates

Manga: One Piece
Role: Pirate Crew
Pros: Dedicated and Uniquely Varied
Cons: Um…er…ah…
Coolest Member: Brooke

In real life, being a pirate sucks. You’re in constant danger from unpredictable weather, hostile nations seeking your death, scurvy and other vile diseases and rogue ninja attacks forcing you to declare your supremacy. Nowadays, calling yourself a pirate gets you laughed at while US Navy Seals fix you in their crosshairs. But fortunately for One Piece’s Luffy, the biggest problem he has to deal with is rounding his crew out and making enough friends to start his own fleet of pirate ships. 

The Straw Hats represent the most focused group of friends on the list, each recruited for their special talents and their ambition to sail the seas. They are a fully functioning crew and a more cohesive unit than Naruto’s extended squad or Ichigo’s group of friends. However, their professional relationships serve only as the framework for the friendships forged and family created on their run from the Royal Navy.

                                                         The Group

Go ahead; laugh at the giant reindeer carrying the bazooka…

Mr. Fantastic’s Pirate Clone. A Swordsman with three weapons. A cat burglar who can control the weather. A slingshot wielding sniper. A miniature reindeer as the doctor. An archeologist with the ability to replicate her body parts. A chef who fights with his legs. A cyborg shipwright. A Skeleton that plays violin.

Yup, this is the freakshow. No other way to put it. In any other setting, this crew would be bizarre and even off-putting but Oda somehow makes it work by building a world that supports such flamboyantly odd characters. Each character is uniquely crafted, serving a larger role in the team while still maintaining their individuality. We get character development enough to know the Straw Hats but not too much to the point where it slows the story down. Backstory comes up in the main plot (ala Nami’s servitude to Arlong) and the whole story moves as a result of each character working together…and work together they do…

And here’s where One Piece shines. Actual. Genuine. Friendship. Between the main cast. Out of all the series here, the Straw Hats feel most like a family, willing to go to extreme lengths to avenge and assist their crew-mates for more than just their value on the ship. Time and again, they’ve put aside their personal goals for the goals of their friends.

Though non-canon, I think the most triumphant example of this is the movie Strong World where Nami gets abducted by a sleezy crime lord in exchange for her friends’ safety. First, this shows Nami’s evolution from the greedy thief she once was to part of the Straw Hat family as she is willing to sacrifice her freedom for the safety of her friends. She even leaves a recording asking the crew not to follow…which they ignore as they proceed to don their pimpiest attire and rescue her in the most explosive fashion this side of Hueco Mundo. And it is awesome. And it is heartwarming. And Luffy rides a giant duck but that’s not important.

As far as romance goes…there is none. Seriously. Oda has gone on record saying that he doesn’t write romance because he doesn’t feel like it needs to be there. I really respect when an author has the restraint not to include something that he feels would take away from his work. It says something when the best romantic writer on this list is the one who doesn’t include romance at all.

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                                               And The Winner is…
X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

                                The Straw Hat Pirates: One Piece

I thought each cast of characters worked equally well for the setting they were in so it came down to how the author handled friendship and romance.
Though I thought Bleach and Naruto handled their friendships well, Bleach lost points for failing to develop the friendships and Naruto lost points for its disastrous love dodecahedrons. One Piece painted a picture of a loyal, devoted cast of characters that conveyed genuine affection. 

The Score

Straw Hats-3

The Ryoka-2

The Konoha 11-1 

The Total

One Piece-8

Bleach-6

Naruto-4

So Naruto stays in the rear as One Piece increases its command of the field. But can a darkhorse come back for the win? Find out next time on SHONEN SMACKDOWN!!!!!!!!!

This review is intended for entertainment purposes only. All media are copyright to their respective owners. Please support the official releases.

Yikes, that was a long one! Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone who started following me, including kimberly-chan, churchprime, girltype and nice-vibe!

                                                Introduction

As we discovered in our last installment of Shonen Smackdown: Return of Jafar, the heroes of shonen manga tend to be more powerful than any character in any story that isn’t written by H.P. Lovecraft (but I think Naruto v. Cthulhu would be a close match). The worlds of Bleach, Naruto and One Piece are populated by outstanding characters so their heroes must be greater and more powerful than their superpowered peers. Energy blasts, elemental powers, superhuman strength and impossible swordplay make these heroes unstoppable forces and fearless warriors. The shonen hero stops at nothing and fears no one…except these guys…

         Not quite…but that is one BAD horse…

The Villains. These are the characters that make even the most powerful hero quake in fear. They are the long, dark shadow hanging over our hero’s head. They are powerful enough to effortlessly crush the hero, humiliate his friends and leave the party crawling away in defeat. Their designs threaten the worlds they live in; their plans are selfish and far-reaching. Throughout arc after arc, their influence pulls the strings of lesser baddies and fights the hero through powerful rogues galleries and dangerous henchmen. They exist to frustrate and destroy the hero and the hero often finds that he can’t achieve his goal until the villains are dead.

So with that in mind, we take a walk on the dark side and smackdown the villains of Naruto, Bleach and One Piece

WARNING: UNMARKED SPOILERS FOLLOW!

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                                                 The Akatsuki

Manga: Naruto
Goal: Take over the world through control of the Tailed Beasts
Affiliated Antagonists: Orochimaru and Madara Uchiha, Sasuke Uchiha

Now I know what you might be thinking here:

“Why Ben, you silly willy gumdrop head! The Akatsuki are mostly dead and gone! Surely Madara Uchiha is the big bad of the series now! Get hip with the times you unrighteous square!”

And while it is true that most of this organization has died out by the time of this review and Madara Uchiha has taken over as the main villain with his Instrumentality scheme he knicked from SEELE, I feel I must justify my response and prove that I am not a silly willy gumdrop head.

From the end of the Chunin Exam tournament arc in the first series of Naruto, one-shot villains like Zabuza fell away and we began to get peeks at a unified threat to the (relative) peace and stability the Ninja world has enjoyed.

                   Fear their coolie hats of DOOM!

The Akatsuki are the Legion of Doom of Missing Nin villains. Their plan is simple, even well organized, and they seem to have agents and allies in every major ninja village in the world. Even long time lurking child molester mad scientist Orochimaru once had ties to the Akatsuki.

Their plan may be a super-villain cliche but we’re given a solid blow by blow plan of how they intend to take over the world. They perform unsavory missions that normal ninja villages won’t touch for a reduced price, thus accumulating a lot of money and driving their rival ninja villages into bankruptcy. Next, they plan on controlling the demonic Tailed-Beasts, using their power to secretly start wars and then publicly quell them to create an air of reliability. With their track record of “stopping” Tailed-Beast attacks, the Akatsuki will steal the clients of other Hidden Villages, thereby depriving their enemies of income. Finally, as the only ninja force in the world with any gravitas, they can safely destroy the other villages and take their place as military dictators of the world. This plan is a lot more attractive to me than Madara’s MacGuffin Instrumentality or Pein’s desire to create total war and if it weren’t for those two undercutting the overall Akatsuki goal with their own goals, they might have succeeded

 I hate so much about the things you choose to be, Tobi…

The Akatsuki serve as good individual battles (see Team Asuma’s battle against Hidan and Kakazu for a prime example of that) but I feel like their impact as a group got pissed away during Shippuden. It became more about furthering Pein and Madara’s individual plans than any unified world domination plan. I guarantee whatever Hollywood Voodoo bullcrap Madara’s planning is going can be stopped a hell of a lot easier than systematic socioeconomic assassination and rule by military force. There were shades of great villainy here but once again the plot is hijacked by the Tailed-Beasts and we’re left wondering what if…

Oh, and there has been some talk about Sasuke becoming the final series antagonist. To that I say BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….s-seriously? Sasuke? Captain Emo Von Duckbutt? Hahahahaha…no.

           Yeah, I went there. Deal With It Sasuke…

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                                                  Souske Aizen

Manga: Bleach
Goal: Raise Himself Above God
Associated Antagonists: The Espada, The Arrancar, Hueco Mundo

What? Captain Aizen? No no no, there must be some kind of mistake… Surely you mean Gin Ichimaru, right? Captain Aizen has always been an upstanding member of Soul Society, intent on rooting out the conspiracy behind Rukia Kuchiki’s arrest and execution order. Captain Aizen would never-

                        Oh, go to hell, Aizen…ಠ_ಠ

Yes, if there are three things everyone knows about Bleach they are that Ichigo is dubbed by a former Power Ranger, Aizen is the main villain and that he is a total cheating bastard.

But he wasn’t always Captain Broken as the fans have come to call him. His subtle control over the Soul Society and the high degree of social manipulation he used to pit the Seretei against one another in the wake of Ichigo’s invasion was certainly unexpected and though he and his henchmen buggered off to Hueco Mundo shortly after the end of the Soul Society arc left established him as a credible threat. He beat down on every captain that had previously taken chapters to be in the span of a few pages, performed high level kido magic without incantation and blocked Ichigo’s Bankai with the tip of his finger (even killing his theme song in the anime)

Aizen went on to create the Espada out of pure awesome and the power of his giant couch who serve as level bosses as Ichigo attempts to rescue Orihime from Hueco Mundo. But all this awesome buildup was just a diversion on Aizen’s part as we get into the Fake Karakura Town arc…and things get weird.

It is here that Aizen’s Zanpaktou power gets ridiculous. His sword has the power of perfect hypnosis which translates as “nuh-uh” to every attack made against him. Stab him with your sword? Nuh-uh, that was just perfect hypnosis. Try and attack from behind? Nuh-uh, that was perfect hypnosis, you just stabbed your friend. Thought you ordered a decaf coffee with soymilk? Nuh-uh, perfect hypnosis and you just drank half and half.

Aizen got so powerful that it cost Ichigo his shinigami powers to defeat him. Keep in mind that Ichigo was one of the most powerful Vizards in the universe and pretty broken himself. So the fact that it cost all his power to defeat (not even destroy) Aizen is a testament to how overpowered Aizen eventually got. It’s fun to have a strong villain but this is just ridiculous.

THIS was his fault. Screw you, Aizen. Screw You...ಥ_ಥ

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                                          The World Government

Manga: One Piece
Goal: Maintain Order and Eliminate Piracy
Affiliated Antagonists: 170 countries, a force of Marines

In any other anime, these would be the good guys.

In a lot of ways, they’re like the Ninja Villages of Naruto. A military force dedicated to upholding peace, eliminating roving gangs of criminals and making the world safer through law.

Unfortunately, this is a manga about pirates and the government in this world hardly lives up to its ideals about peace and justice. These are the very definitions of lawful evil. Marines who kill innocent women and children in the search for the heir of the Pirate King. Sinking entire ships of civilians to destroy one criminal on board. Commitment to Absolute Justice to a degree that would cause Hugo’s Inspector Javert to recoil.

For such a lighthearted manga, the Marines present a terrifying adversary. The Straw Hats may skirmish with other pirates and fight marine captains but their main enemy is the entire fucking world! Even if they reach their goal of One Piece, they’re still marked enemies of the World Government and the last Pirate King was executed before the start of the series. They’re enemy is the flag and everything and everyone who stands behind it. So, what does our hero decide to do?

         Flags killed Luffy’s father…now he seeks revenge

In front of an army of Marines, the Straw Hats declare war on the World Government. From this point on, there is no escaping the inevitable destruction of the World Government if they are to truly reach their goals.

AND THE WINNER IS….

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.

..

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The World Government: One Piece

What really puts the World Government in my top spot is the amount of hell they could potentially rain down on the Straw Hats. If Luffy manages to be Pirate King, he and his crew are going to become public enemy number one and the combined force of the Marines will be up against them. And frankly, that’s awesome. Having a powerful villain as an adversary makes the hero more awesome by defeating them. I anticipate epic battles to come as Luffy makes good on his willingness to destroy the world to protect his friends. 

The Scores

World Government: 3

The Akatsuki: 2

Sosuke Aizen: 1 

The Total so Far

One Piece: 5

Bleach: 4

Naruto: 3

So One Piece pulls ahead of Bleach and Naruto remains in third place. But, can the Ninja’s quirky cast of side characters defeat the Straw Hat crew and Kubo’s menagerie of freaks? Stay tuned and find out! Next Time: Side Character Smackdown

All intellectual properties are copyright to their respective owners. This review is intended for entertainment purposes only and is no way a challenge to the copyrights of the series reviewed. Support the official release. 

Thank you all for being patient as I took a break from this to focus on my finals. Thanks to everyone who read my last post and to those who started following me, including carolinesadventuresinreality, gilgamesh8822, petronia and anaisapye! Stay tuned for my next review!

                                             Introduction

German literary visionary and author of Faust Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was once quoted as saying that “a shonen series is only as good as the kid swinging the sword.” Goethe is considered a central part of German literature and his status as a visionary is made more incredible given the fact that he died about 150 years before the publication of the first Shonen Jump. The fact that he had never read the series he was commenting on did little to diminish him as a critic and his 1829 treatise entitled On The Comiks of The Far Eastern Isles and Their Peculiar Tropes and Idioms successfully predicted Sasuke’s betrayal in Naruto, Aizen’s treachery in Bleach and Sogeking’s identity in One Piece a full century before their authors were even born.

       Goethe (pictured here) , Writer of Faust and Author of Egmonst, got his start writing unpublished fanfiction under the pen-name Ichi_Ruki_luvr_4_evr

And who can argue with Goethe? Rare is the case of a shonen manga that doesn’t feature a spry youngster slightly older than their target demographic striving to be the best like no one ever was. Shonen protagonists are characterized by their genuinely good nature, the relationships they form with their nakama (read: circle of friends) their ability to become stronger as a result of hard work (there’s an aesop for ya kiddies!) and their inability to quit despite losing more blood than should be physically possible. 

  It’s Only A Flesh Wound (+1 Obligitory Holy Grail Reference)

But, beyond that, each character fleshes himself out in different ways…or at leas they should. If shonen writers today must measure up to Toriyama’s legacy then their heroes must dwell within the cold comfort of Goku’s spiky haired shadow, defining themselves against the archetype without trying to copy it wholesale.

So, having said that, let’s begin by taking a look at our leading men. This is SHONEN SMACKDOWN ROUND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

                                                 Uzumaki Naruto

• Manga: Naruto

• Age: 12-timeskip-16

• At His Best: Determined, Powerful without being too powerful, wonderfully goofy

• At His Worst: Shows signs of aging poorly, prone to OOC angst.

Naruto is what I’d call the quintessential example of the Idiot Hero, a trait he shares with Goku and Luffy. He’s not too bright but he’s good hearted, idealistic and too stupid to know when to quit. Usually, you’ll see this kind of character contrasted with the dark, brooding complicated character who scoffs at the hero’s wide eyed naivete (in Naruto’s case, this role is filled by his lover friend and nothing else Sasuke).

Naruto grew up in the Hidden Ninja Village of Leaf, being persecuted and looked down on for ostensibly being a trouble-maker. On the evening of his failed ninja exam, he learns from teacher that he is the human container for the Kyuubi, The Demon Lord Ninetailed Fox (+1 Okami reference) that nearly destroyed the village on the day Naruto was born. The Kyuubi gives him superhuman chakra (read: chi) and abilities beyond normal ninjas his age.

The crux of Naruto’s character development involves him repairing his bad reputation amongst the villagers who view Naruto and the demon who destroyed their village as one in the same. Naruto believes that if he were to become Hokage (the ninja leader of his village), he would gain the respect and admiration of the people who rejected him. This motivation changes somewhat as he starts to make friends who take precedence over being Hokage. Particularly troubling is the betrayal of his crush friend and nothing else Sasuke, who Naruto spends most of the series trying to reconcile. Naruto’s character evolves from the hapless Fool archetype to something more mature…and this isn’t always handled well.

If I was holding this contest during the initial run of the series (say with One Piece and Bleach at comparable lengths) Naruto would be a shoe in for the top slot as best shonen action hero. The first series Naruto was quirky, a little ditzy but lovable nonetheless. Then Shippuden happened…please remember this phrase because it will make a guest appearance in every one of my reviews on Naruto. For now, I’ll just say I’m not a fan with the choices Kishimoto made post timeskip.

Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!

Kishimoto made some…interesting decisions with teenage Naruto that often don’t mesh well with his established character. Oh, sure, there are moments of the old goofy Naruto but they’re few and far between lately now that Naruto has angst to deal with. Naruto (especially in the later chapters) is now prone to angsting about Sasuke in a totally platonic way, his inability to protect his friends or the fact that the whole world wants him and everyone he’s ever talked to dead.

Ichiraku Ramen ran out of pork flavor…I want to die…

Now, given the circumstances he’s in, any other character might be inclined to crawl into a corner and die but this type of behavior runs against the scrappy little punk we fell in love with in the first series. Naruto doesn’t angst. Hell, Little!Naruto was prone to punch out whatever god-level demon-ninja looked at his friends funny and hang the consequences. He’d truck forward, no matter what the cost! But older Naruto is more prone to doubt than I feel is strictly necessary. It’s good to see him mature as a character but I don’t want him to lose the goofball innocence he had to begin with.

           Goddammit, I miss this little goofball…

                                             Kurosaki Ichigo

• Manga: Bleach

• Age: 15-timeskip-17

• At His Best: Caring without being sentimental, smarter than Naruto or Luffy, serious personality that still allows for humor

• At His Worst: Overshadows the supporting cast

Ichigo is definitely the odd man out here. This grim looking mug is his default face and he lacks the inherit goofiness that Naruto, Goku and Luffy have. However, Kubo walks the line between serious and stuffy and actually ends up creating a fairly realistic and complex character. Ichigo comes off as moody and unapproachable but the first time we meet him, he’s beating up thugs who desecrated a little girl’s memorial. He has a caring side that only his friends and family are privy to but he won’t hesitate to help someone who needs it. This moody facade also serves Ichigo comedically where he’s often the only sane man surrounded by the most eccentric people in the universe.

     Ichigo is unimpressed with your poor bunny-art.

Ichigo is also the only one without any overarching ambition; he doesn’t want to become Hokage or Pirate King. This is what happens when a totally normal kid (ghost seeing aside) is thrown into a totally bizarre situation with the only purpose of protecting the people he loves. He originally took Rukia’s (see Bunny Girl up top) powers to protect his sisters, he went into Soul Society to save Rukia from execution and he went to Hueco Mundo to save his friend Orihime from being used as the Big Bad’s tool. We get a sense that he’s only in this mess because assorted mythological assholes won’t stop kidnapping his friends. His power is totally at the disposal of those close to him…which is good because they don’t have a shot in hell without him. 

This is one of the problems Goku suffered from; he was just too damn powerful. He’s not on Mary Sue level of powerful because there still are villains who will step up and beat his ass but he’s powerful enough to relegate everyone else to secondary roles. Now you may be thinking; why is this a bad thing? Shouldn’t the hero be the most powerful person in the cast. Well, yeah, but he shouldn’t totally nullify the efforts of everyone else. He shouldn’t be the only powerful character. This is a trap Ichigo can fall into because he outstrips his friends and allies in terms of power very early in the series and just keeps climbing. His friends are pretty much there to take care of the B-list baddies while Ichigo beats the hell out of the soul-sucking-monster of the week. This is especially egregious given Bleach’s enormous cast and the fact that Ichigo outshines them all. I would like to see some of his friends (who are BAMF’s in their own right) take on more of a role in fighting the forces of evil, if it’s not too much to ask.

           Especially you, Chad. You’re my hero, man.

                                              Monkey D. Luffy

Manga: One Piece
Age: 17-timeskip-19
At His Best: Brilliantly Idealistic, surprisingly insightful, fun personified
At His Worst: Childish, lacking depth

If Ash Ketchum lived in the world of One Piece, his name would be Luffy. By far the biggest oddball on this list, Luffy reminds me of a Looney Tune in a world ruled by Tarantino and created by the guy who designed Pirates of the Caribbean. I just started reading One Piece this last year and I have to say I totally love this little freak. Gifted with the powers of stretchy appendages and on a treasure hunt with the biggest weirdos he can lay his hands on, Luffy is the biggest kid in shonen today (despite the fact that he’s older than anyone else).

What you see with Luffy is pretty much what you get; a kid playing pirate for real. One Piece is one of the craziest, off the wall worlds in anime and it’s fitting that we discover it through Luffy’s eyes as he’s pretty much on a treasure hunt. His goal is similar to Naruto’s (or visa versa since OP came first) but we get the feeling that Luffy would give up if finding One Piece would mean alienating or endangering his new friends. The motif of friendship plays heavily throughout the series and Luffy values his relationships as his greatest treasure. He’s quick to avenge his mates ala Ichigo and has the power to make friends with anyone he meets ala Naruto. All in all, Luffy is an energetic, straightforward, honest, lovable kid…but that’s all he is.

On one hand, this works well for him; even when characters die around him, Luffy is less prone to angst and more prone to action. But just as Ichigo’s default mood is moody, Luffy’s is pretty much happy-go-lucky. All the time. Don’t search for hidden depths because as far as I can tell, there are none. Luffy is like a peanut-butter sandwich; straightforward and reliably good but nothing too special. Goku suffered a similar problem for me in that I was always expecting more but I never got it. There’s nothing bad about this perse but there’s nothing totally special about this either.

Verdict

This was a tough call and first and second place were very close. For me, it all came down to who was a more consistent and well rounded character. While I like everyone on this list, the winner is…

X

x

x

x

x

x

x

x

x

x

ICHIGO: Bleach

                       Doesn’t he look happy?

While he is far from perfect, Ichigo is the strongest character of the three in my opinion. Kubo wrote a fairly realistic teenager with fairly realistic goals that just happens to have a shinigami girlfriend living in his closet. I felt that Naruto could be inconsistently moody and Luffy, God bless the little bugger, only serves one flavor of ice cream. Also, I felt that Ichigo took a step away from Dragonball while Naruto and Luffy still resemble Goku. Ichigo is fairly reliable from week to week, offering the same care with the frumpy frown that makes him seem aloof without being annoying. And though he leaves his friends in the dust in terms of power level, I can deal with that as long as I can still root for Ichigo. So, in the end, it shakes down like this.

Ichigo: 3 Points

Luffy: 2 points

Naruto: 1 point

So the Current Standings after one smackdown

1st: Bleach
2nd Place: One Piece
3rd Place: Naruto

Next time! I’ll take a look at the villains! Can Aizen maintain Bleach’s stranglehold or with the Akatsuki and the World Government usurp the throne?  So until then…um…take care of yourselves…eat well…brush your teeth…go to bed at a reasonable hour…OH YEAAAAAAH!

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Thanks to everyone who read my last post and everyone who subscribed since, including unspark, chucknorristaylor, javss, listsarelife and make-rain-smile!

 

                                                   Introduction

“…yea, and it was writ that Akira Toriyama ascended to the heavens, cloaked in the resplendent majesty of Super Sayin Level 7 and withdrew from the world of Shonen Manga to let his protegees fight for the crown he left behind…
”

Book of the most Sacred Mangaka: Chapter 5, Verses i-iv

I’m not going to lie and say I took up martial arts for any other reason than Dragonball Z made it look awesome. Granted, I stayed long after i found out that it was impossible to shoot ki blasts from one’s hands but I think I can speak for a majority of American boys when I say that Dragonball and Dragonball Z shaped our childhoods. Aside from Batman: The Animated Series, there was really no other show that showed such mind blowing action combined with a relatively light tone that didn’t take itself too seriously

     AND WITH A VILLAIN LIKE THIS, HOW CAN YOU?

As much as I loved the show as a kid, I do have a few complaints. Toriyama himself has gone on record complaining that he padded the series out longer than he wanted to due to executive meddling and DBZ in particular is infamous for its long, overdrawn arcs that led to the stereotype that all anyone did in Dragonball is stand around and power up.

   AL…MOST…THERE…JUST…TEN…MORE…EPISODES…

But all things must come to an end but for the minor gripes, Dragonball is the golden standard to which all Shonen Manga must measure up to. It says something about the staying power of a series that is still aired today.

But The King is Dead, and the princes are left to duke it out for the throne. Three series follow in the footsteps of Toriyama in hopes of becoming Hokage, King of Pirates, King of Shonen Manga. In the coming weeks, I will weigh each according to his merits, measure them against the master and how well they have made their own name and at the end, two will be found wanting.

It’s time to put the debate to bed. It’s time for a king to be crowned. It’s Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Shinigami.  This…is….SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEN SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!

                                                The Criteria 

I’ve selected competitors for this series of reviews based on popularity, quality and faithfulness to the archetypal shonen manga.

I did not include series like Soul Eater because, though it is far and away a better read than any manga in this competition, it unfortunately lacks in popularity. This may seem like a shallow characteristic to judge a series on and, honestly, it is. But you have to remember that Dragonball (once again, the gold standard) infected the minds of kids across continents and cultural boundaries. So I can see kids running around pretending to be pirates and ninjas but I think Soul Eater is a little too obscure for younger minds.

              PICTURED: TOO COOL FOR THIS REVIEW…

I didn’t include Fullmetal Alchemist because it follows a different tradition than the one Naruto, One Piece and Bleach follow. There are certain trends and tropes that tie these three series together that are missing from Fullmetal Alchemist. Arakawa made her own series independent of this tradition and wrote a better series than anyone on this list it’s hard to compare the series across the board.

                         HAIL TO THE QUEEN, BITCHES!

Also absent is Inuyasha which I just don’t like.

True, there are legions of fans who will chop my Tetsaiga off for failing to include Inuyasha in the running but I never got into the show, it’s not my cup of tea and it’s not really Shonen. Seriously. Though it has giant swords, evil demons and superpowered protagonists, this is primarily a romance with swords. I only read the last chapters and I don’t think it stacks up to Takahashi’s other works.And If Ranma 1/2 doesn’t get a nod, Inu-puppy doesn’t either.

                  PUPPY EYES WILL NOT AVAIL YOU…

So what we are left with are the big three currently featured in Shonen Jump. They are…

                                                    THE BIG THREE

NARUTO

Weighing in at 11 Years, 514 chapters, 350 episodes and 4 OVA

The story of Naruto Uzumaki who wants to become the Hokage, ninja leader of his village. But he struggles with the demon sealed within, the scorn of the people in his village, an organization bent on world domination and the betrayal of his best friend. Slowly, Naruto sees what it means to be Hokage, even if that means killing someone he once considered a brother and nothing else you yaoi fans!

BLEACH

Weighing in at 9 years, 423 chapters, 294 episodes and 3 OVA

15 year old Ichigo Kurosaki has always been a normal kid…who could see ghosts, until his life is changed by a shinigami (a psychopomp comparable to the Grim Reaper) named Rukia Kuchiki. He takes on her powers when she is injured and finds himself plunged into a world that poses constant danger to the people he cares about. Fighting Hollows by moonlight, rescuing his friends by daylight Ichigo is committed to the protection of the world and everyone he cares about no matter who stands in his way.

ONE PIECE

Weighing in at 13 years, 550 chapters, 450 episodes, 10 OVA

It is the age of Piracy. The “Pirate King” has been executed, leaving his title and vast fortune “One Piece” to anyone who can find it. Luffy, imbued with the rubbery powers of the Devil Fruit and inspired by his childhood hero Shanks, sets out to find a crew and claim his spot as Pirate King. Combating villainous pirates, the long arm of a relentless marine forceand a world government gone mad, the crew of the Going Merry relentlessly pursue their dreams.

In the weeks to come, I’ll judge them on

• Heroes
• Villains
• Supporting Cast
• Tone
• Story
• Character Interactions
• Writing
• Humor/Drama

All will be judged…but in the end…THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

                                   PLACE

                                    YOUR…

                                            BETS.

SPECIAL THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO STARTED COMMENTED ON MY LAST POST AND FOLLOWING ME, ESPECIALLY ramblingsofanotaku, clameryl, salazarslytherin, junefever and thelovelanguage.

All properties are copyright to their respective owners. This review is intended for entertainment purposes only. Support the official releases.